Snatch Cheese and Charcuterie

We talked over the next few days--I went to drill in Colorado and before I left I told her that I may not talk to her much just because my schedule there is crazy. When I got there though I wanted to talk to her. I wanted her to know that she came across my mind. We ended up talking because I was upset about how things were being played out with my First Sergeant duties and what that looked like in my future. It was nice being able to talk to her about my military job and not be told that she doesn't care or want to hear about it. She actively just listened to me and was there for me--I really needed that in that moment. I forgot what it was like to have that and it caught me a little off gaurd. I found myself reaching out and talking with her over the whole weekend...something I usually do not do.

When I came back to Chicago, I asked if she wanted to come down that week to spend some time together. I asked if she like charcuterie because I remember her mentioning it the night we met. So, I made a portable charcuterie pack along with a blanket, hammock and water. We went over to the Lake and tried to set up a hammock in the trees that were kind of close together. Yeah...we clearly did not know what we were doing because my butt was literally on the ground when I tried to sit in the hammock. We laughed so hard about it and then just decided to sit on a rock that was nearby and eat on the blanket. We were talking and at one point I locked eyes with her and I felt something shift inside of me. This seemed more than just two friends hanging out. It felt like we had been here before--her and I. It felt like we were two of the same souls or something. I cannot explain it--but something shifted. If any of you have ever watched the Twilight series--it felt just like that moment when Jacob locked eyes with Renesme. Everything changed, all at once and I cannot find the words to describe it. I just know that it did.

In this moment, I realized I did not see her as a friend or platonic hang out. As we spent more time on that rock I kept thinking like I have known her somewhere before. Did we actually meet at some point in Seattle?? I tried to go back in my memories but I never recognized her. North Carolina? Nope--different times. Hawaii? She was there when I was but I did not remember seeing her. Yet, something about her energy and her presence was just so familiar to me. Then I thought--oh God...are we related?! Of course not! How could we be? lol. Geez woman--calm down. Just be in the moment with her. Be present.

When we got back to my apartment we sat on the rug because I did not have any furniture other than the ottoman. It did not phase her at all! Sebastian and her hung out a bit and I tried to get him used to her. I put his little, crunchy treats on her thighs to entice him to come close to her. I also did it because I wanted to touch her and see how she would react to me being that close. Part of me wanted to just touch her thigh, gaze into her eyes and just kiss her. But I didn't. "Not now", I thought. I needed Sebastian to get used to her so he wouldn't bark at her. After a few minutes of this he actually seemed comfortable enough to not spaz out, which was nice. He usually takes a long time to warm up to people--was this a sign? It sort of seemed like it. Even he felt her calm presence and I was happy for that.

Next I remember grabbing my Shakti mat and asked if she used one before and explained she might want to try it with a shirt on at first. She decided to give it a try and never once even complained about the pain of it. I was impressed because a lot of people cannot even lay on it with a shirt on. As she laid on the Shakti mat I told her that at some point she might feel warm and it should not hurt much. I just watched her lay there and how relaxed her face became. She started to get a little flush and I knew that the mat was working its magic. That was the face of relaxation or possibly that she was falling asleep. I even played Olympic National Park sounds on my calm app for her to listen to as she laid there. A part of my favorite place to hike/camp that I could share with her for a brief moment in time without ever leaving the house. I could just watch her lay there like that all day. She was beautiful and I could tell she was calm. I wanted to kiss her so bad. I just really wanted to know what it would be like--would she kiss me back? Maybe?? Eh, I wasn't sure. Was she a bad kisser? I don't think so. I tend to see how people kiss before I decide if I want to date them or anything else. But I don't make the first move. Not sure why. Probably years of rejection that plague me. So I came up with another idea.

As she sat up and got off the shakti mat I decided to see if she was into me. By this point, I really could not read her and it was driving me nuts because I felt like she liked me but I am terrible at reading that sort of cue. I did not want to be wrong and I damn sure did not want to make it awkward and ask her. So instead, I slowly took off my shirt and was just in my black, sparkly Victoria Secret bra. The push-up one that make my tits look extra nice. I pulled the mat underneath me and laid down. It hurt like hell for a few minutes--but I tried not to show pain on my face. I had to show off a little bit for her lol. I laid there for about ten minutes maybe? It felt warm and good and I too, could have fallen asleep. She made sure Sebastian didn't jump on me while I was on there too which was nice.

But then I needed to get up...

She was sitting with her legs open on the ground behind me and I said, "Feel how deep these marks are. Oh, and these are all of my tattoos." She gently and slowly touched my back. Her soft fingertips barely grazing my skin--turning me on so much that I realized I was getting very wet. I pulled away from her and scooted forward and started to put my shirt on when she said, "I really want to kiss you right now!" Her eyes were shut as she said it and she looked so cute. "So why don't you?", I asked. And just like that, she scooted closer to me so fast. She put her arms around me and kissed me with a softness I had not felt in so long. As she held me in her arms on the white, shaggy rug it felt like I have kissed her before. Her lips were no stranger to mine. It was a kiss that was so passionate, yet so gentle and loving. It was the most perfect first kiss I have ever had. She held me close to her and then we ended up on top of each other. It felt right and natural and nothing felt forced in the moment. I knew how wet I was and wanted to feel her too.

We went to my bedroom and as we took off our clothes, I became so excited. Not just because I haven't had sex in two years (yes...2 YEARS!) but because she was just stunningly beautiful. I don't need to write everything that happened because some things are better kept private between us. Yet, she said something about how she wanted to take care of me because she knew my body hadn't had that in a long time. I melted. It was amazing and our first time together could not have been any better than it was. Her drive matched mine and it was so nice to finally have someone in my life that did not make me feel bad for having a high sex drive.