I Just Met My Wife

As I gazed into her eyes, she held my hand on her heart, like I had done for her. She told me that she wanted to let me feel it--in that moment I felt what I had before. The type of a bond or connection that I just do not have the words to describe. She looked at me in a way she had a couple of times previously but this time it was like she was being intentional. Like she wanted to tell me she loved me but did not want to say it out loud. But it was the way her beautiful blue eyes gazed into mine this time--it was not like the other times she has looked at me. I told her, "Don't look at me like that...not unless you really mean it". I knew that if she kept looking at me like that she needed to be ready. Was she ready? I know she was still healing and I did not want to ask. All I knew in that moment was that she had all of me....let me back track though.

Ever since I was up in Milwaukee the first time, I felt some type of pull to be near her. Not sure what it was but even though originally I did not want to drive that far--2 hours to meet her, my intuition kept pushing me toward her. So I went--and I was a little nervous as I usually am when I meet people for the first time. We were in Vandetta, a cute Italian coffee shop where she said she goes often and highly recommended it. How could I ever turn down anything Italian?? I love all things Italian and so I was looking forward to this place. She told me when she was on her way and as I sat there I kept feeling myself get anxious. I really did not want to deal with another person that was fine texting and meeting once and then ghosting me or just being very weird. As soon as I had that thought, she walked in.

When she walked in, I felt the energy shift. She was the only thing different in the room that could have made it shift--she made a joke because she could tell I was nervous. It worked though and I loosened up a bit. She had on her black leather jacket and her hair was down. She was so beautiful and her smile just radiated the whole room. As we sat by the window in the coffee shop her blue eyes sparkled--something I had never seen before. What I felt around her was instant calmness. Usually I feel people's anxiety, avoidance, etc. This usually makes me feel more anxious and causes me to be off centered. She was different--I did not feel anything but calm around her and I just had to let it happen. This was new to me but I enjoyed it. I enjoyed being in her presence.

She and I sat at Vandetta for awhile talking--enough for everyone to start closing the shop and us still being there. It was nice being able to have an actual conversation with someone I just met without any wierd emotions or energy. Then we both got into her car and she showed me the lake in the area. I previously thought when she told me she lived near the lake that she was in Chicago in the neighborhood I lived in, so it was funny seeing this lake. I laughed and just listened to her talk. She showed me where the Brewers play and told me all about the tailgating that is to die for in the Midwest--mostly due to the food and hanging out. I told her I never lived anywhere that I could experience it but would love to. She also had to walk a couple of dogs and so I went with her to do that. As soon as she pulled up to the house I was in love! It was a modern house with everything I always wanted inside. It was pretty crazy because none of the other houses on the street looked even remotely like it. She showed me around and the dogs were just so sweet and cute too. She was so great with them and I could tell she really loved animals.

When we left we realized we were hungry...I believe I said I was "starving" and we went to grab some food at a local bar. As we sat there and ordered we talked like old friends. People that had known each other but lived apart and haven't seen each other in decades. There never was an awkward pause or moment between us. It was freaking awesome! She had the same humor as me and we were able to just share our experiences and make jokes with one another. It was amazing. Then at some point, I looked into her eyes. (Usually I look at people's forehead or mouth so they don't act weird and look away). Those beautiful blue eyes. When I stared at her for a minute, I felt something. A feeling like deja vu but I could not pinpoint where or what exactly. It was intriguing but also did not make any sense to me. I stopped staring though so she wouldn't think I was being weird--I definitely did not want to freak her out.

I ended up talking with her for HOURS. Like, 6 hours to be exact. It was seamless and if I did not have to walk Sebastian, I probably would have stayed longer. I enjoyed being there with her eating cheese curds and even laughing and almost choking on water because we couldn't stop making jokes about Snatchcheese. Her laugh and her smile was infectious and I wanted to keep being exposed to it. When she dropped me off at my car, she waited until I drove off. It was sweet. But as I got out of the car I couldn't formulate words and was being weird. For some reason I just wanted to kiss her. I didn't though because when do I ever make the first move? LOL! So I left and told her I'd let her know when I make it back to Chicago.